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Thursday, 03 October 2013 17:37

6 Things That Aren't Sexy (Unless It's Halloween)

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Remember when Halloween was all about wearing grotesque costumes complete with oozey blood, pus filled wounds and dismembered limbs? Nah, either do I. For as long as I can remember any Halloween 'do I've been to has been an excuse for girls to wear little to no clothes out in public and buy those stipper shoes they've always dreamed of. 

Last year, I was lucky enough to be in New York for Halloween. My dear friend took me to a private party in Soho, and it was like I'd stumbled backstage at the Victoria's Secret show. It was wall-to-wall models. As if the fact that they were the most genetically blessed bunch of people I'd ever clapped eyes on, they were all in assorted latex outfits that showed everyone exactly what their mumma gave them. It was pretty much this scene out of Mean Girls.

One girl was a sexy Hello Kitty.

Inspired by that night here are 6 other things that are only sexy come Halloween...

One | Flags

The shapelessness of a flag doesn't scream sexy to me, but apparently when teamed with questionable footwear, some frosted lipstick and a devil-may-care attitude you can be patriotic AND bring all the boys to the yard.

 

Two | Ursula from The Little Mermaid

While it's been a while since I've sat down with a bucket of popcorn and watched The Little Mermaid, I definitly don't remember Ursula being sexy. In fact, I remember her being quite chubby, slimey and kinda gross.

Three | Dalmatians

At Halloween the line between cute and sexy gets very, very foggy. This point is perfectly illustrated by this strange dalmatian number. This clobber bobs in and out of sexyland. The hat: cute. The clevage: sexy. The pom poms: cute. The forgotten bottom half: sexy. I'm confused. 

Four | Mario

Only at Halloween is a short, tubby Italian plumber the stuff (wet) dreams are made of.

Five | Lady Bugs

Firstly, do Lady Bugs have ears? I don't think so. Secondly, do they requent raves? Because if not, why else would this outfit would include furry leg warmers?

Six | Twister

This one I kinda get. The physical contact, the twisting, the inevitable falling all over one another. The only question here is: why the garter? Does this outfit double as a bridal gown?

If you're keen, you can buy all of these outfits here!

Alex Thompson

Alex is theEDIT’s resident fashion guru. Need to know if you can wear spots with florals? Want to know what a gillet is? Alex has the answers. And then some.

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